What Being a Kajira Means to Me – essay by Fliss (slave of Master Eldin)

Within the House of Runo we have lessons that the slaves must complete as they advance up through the levels of Hor in Training to becoming and Elite Hor.  Sometimes a girl completes a lesson so exceptionally that it must be preserved.  What follow is an essay written by Fliss Fairport as slave owned by Master Eldin Stonecutter.  Master Gorm Runo was so impressed by this essay that he asked it be included here.


Beginner Lesson #11
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Write an essay on what being a kajira means to you. This essay does not have a word count, please use however many words you feel you need to, to express your thoughts on what being kajira means. NC the essay and turn it to the Lessons Box!


Fliss Chained

 

[ K A J I R A ]

“Suddenly, the world I had scrutinised for so long was all around me, as if I had leaned forward and climbed into the television like Alice through the looking-glass. I had no idea just how deep the rabbit hole would go. ~ Simon Pegg

The idea of consensual slavery is not new to me. However, i didn’t ever think i would use ‘slave’ to describe myself. That, at the most basic, is ‘kajira’, she is slave. However, slavery, wholehearted, exquisite, beautiful slavery which seeks to please and honour and bring joy to the One she serves, is not basic.

It is not easy to be slave. It is not a decision to be taken lightly nor one to enter into without the steel to withstand the emotional roller-coaster, the descent into the rabbit hole, that it entails.

 

I choose to be kajira, i choose my slavery and that comes with a breadth of things i now need to embrace.

 

th

[ W H O L E S E L F ]
✤ Heart ✤ Mind ✤ Spirit ✤ Body ✤

“To be great, be whole;
Exclude nothing, exaggerate nothing that is not you.
Be whole in everything. Put all you are
Into the smallest thing you do.
So, in each lake, the moon shines with splendor
Because it blooms up above.”
― Fernando Pessoa

 

The pick and mix is one of the most exiting bits of a trip to the cinema. So much choice, all thrown into one over-sized, paper cup and, in the dark of the movie theatre, you never quite now what sweet you’re going to pull out. Consensual slavery, however, is not a pick-and-mix (although there’s plenty of dark mystery and excitement to make up for it). To be kajira, one offers everything to the Owner. Your thoughts, emotions, actions, hopes, body are all now His. On the plus side, you are released from the worry of editing who you present to be in order to be ‘acceptable’, or second guessing whether you are really truly wanted. You are owned. However, you retain responsibility to ensure that who you are and what you offer is now looked after and honed, to the best of your ability, in stewardship of His property.

A kajira needs to find love and confidence in herself, if only to find sufficient motivation to care for what is no longer hers to damage through neglect or self-condemnation. No amount of ownership or reassuring words will heal the wounds that everyone carries, not even the most powerful of Masters can fix a broken heart or a damaged ego. However, in trusting that ownership is complete, it is possible to practice disciplines of self-care that can heal and mend, that can recondition and make whole. If that trust in Ownership cannot be given, a girl will never be able to be the best for her Master; if she longs for a saviour to heal her wounds or save her from herself, the likelihood is she will be sorely disappointed and possibly even drag her Master down with her.

A kajira therefore needs to be ready to commit to self-improvement, to grow and flourish. Only then will the exquisite beauty she’s expected to project, inside and out, be able to manifest in her. How one flourishes is as unique as each kajira but neglecting any part of herself, her body, mind, heart or soul, will be to neglect her Owner’s property. It is not enough to be beautiful on a screen or to understand the philosophy of Gor, inside and out, if one neglects chores or body in RL. While, for many in an SL context, the Master-slave dynamic does not bridge the screen and it remains firmly between two avatars, the kajira still has a responsibility for the real person behind the keyboard, to communicate clearly with her Owner, to ensure that her availability online is supported by her self-care offline. This is no different where the dynamic shifts into RL.

Honor to please
[ T O T A L O B E D I E N C E ]
✤ Trust ✤ Submission ✤ Ownership ✤

Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you.”
― C.S. Lewis

Central to a kajira’s identity is the call for obedience; unquestioning, immediate obedience. The time for deciding whether you want to submit to that level passed once you entered into the dynamic you are now in. i am not role-playing being a kajira. i am not pretending that i had no choice and was brought against my will to Gor in order to be Owned by a cruel and barbaric Master (no matter what my profile and ‘journey to Gor’ says, nor how cruel and barbaric He might actually be).

I have chosen to be kajira, when that choice happened i am not sure, but in choosing to be a kajira, i am now expected to be obedient. This comes with trust. Trust that my Master will not ask me to do what will damage His property, detrimentally impact RL or push beyond what i am able to obey. I trust, when He releases me to serve another, that the honour among Gorean men that *He* trusts, will equally keep me safe from real harm.

I wear a collar. It was not a collar that was fastened around my neck against my will, though i may have been somewhat dazed by the intensity of the whirlwind, force of nature that is my Master. His collar of Ownership is an outward symbol of our invisible dynamic. So, as kajira, i submit. I submit to His owning, Body, Mind and Heart, with second dibs on my Soul. I acknowledge His right to control me, to make demands on me, to order me and to be generally bossy and i submit to the expectation that i will be unquestioningly and immediately* obedient.

As an owned slave, submitting to the will of her Owner, i own nothing, not even my name, and i may decide nothing. I am fortunate in my ability to trust the Man who owns me. I know that, in giving Him control, i am in excellent hands.

*unless it amuses Him for me to be a little defiant, on the right side of the line.

3ae06e640cf6a3506bb0f6685518530f

[ A T T I T U D E ]
✤ Service ✤ Acceptance ✤ Love ✤

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” — John Lennon

Consensual non-consent is definitely a part of the dynamic i share with my Master. We will roleplay for fun and frolics with monsters and beasts and tentacles…because it is fun, because it brings Him pleasure and makes Him laugh and growly. However, though i will defy Him and say ‘no’ to Him, my attitude must always be one of pleasing alertness.

i watch my Master. i listen to His tone, His stories, His expectations and i flex and react according to His need. my own wants and desires come second to what is pleasing to Him. One of the main reason Gor makes sense to my slave-heart is that it accepts and encourages my innate yearning to please

It is important i say, at this point, that i believe i am very fortunate, that my Owner wants me to be totally honest and unedited, to share what i hope for and what i desire. He is very present and engaged and demands the same of me. This is not always the case for a Master/slave dynamic and RL does not always allow His level of attention and care. So, while He is in charge, His needs and wants are my priority and i seek to be pleasing to Him, i do so with total security that my needs and hopes are never disregarded, as long as i am open and articulate them.

The attitude then, as kajira, is key. A kajira must strive for excellence, to be the best version of herself she can be. Ironically, in an essay full of ‘i’ statements’ i do try to ensure there is no ‘i’ in slave (that wouldn’t have worked if if i had written ‘kajira’!). Masters deserve the best a girl can offer. He is honoured in our striving to improve dance or creative writing skills, or when i work on His homestead to make it a gloriously beautiful place with places to play and sit and inhabit. i honour Him when i work hard to overcome my inclination to hide my less-than-perfect bits and am raw and open and vulnerable. i honour Him when i am alert to His needs and wants, when i am pleasing without His ordering it, when i obey, even if it is difficult. i honour Him when i take myself for a walk in RL or remember to pack my lunch.

I wear a brand. The brand is an outward sign of this inner attitude, the attitude of attentive desire to please.

Capacity to love
[ R E V E R E N C E ]
✤ Adoration ✤ Respect ✤ Honour ✤

“That love is reverence, and worship, and glory, and the upward glance. Not a bandage for dirty sores. But they don’t know it. Those who speak of love most promiscuously are the ones who’ve never felt it. They make some sort of feeble stew out of sympathy, compassion, contempt, and general indifference, and they call it love. Once you’ve felt what it means to love as you and I know it – the total passion for the total height – you’re incapable of anything less.” — Ayn Rand

A kajira is not obligated to love every Master that she serves. She does not have to fall head-over-heals in order to bring her best to her service. However, to allow love and reverence to rise up in her, to drive her steps, the touch of her hand, the roll of hip and neck, then she soars in her submission. It is not dependent on being made to feel loved, it is a state of mind that acknowledges that she is made to offer pleasing, loving worship of the men she offers service to.

As i’ve already said, in being my best, i bring honour to my Master, so too, in allowing love and reverence to work their way through my self-perception and my actions, these light-forces become the pull that feeds attentiveness and the desire to rise above the self-centered ‘i’, the self-serving ego and they force out the darknesses, the petty jealousies and resentments that have no place in a kajira’s heart.

found myself
[ S E R V I C E ]
✤ Openness ✤ Attentiveness ✤ Pleasure ✤

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” — Mahatma Gandhi

A kajira, whatever role she is trained for, whatever her Master might order of her, is called to service. Attentiveness and desire to please obviously play a part in that, as does the striving for excellence and alertness to the whims and desires of those she serves.
Service is effortful; paying attention to external information, be they orders or the environment, slight changes in mood or the long-term gathering of information to inform your service, to serve is to take time and shape what you offer to the preferences of those you serve. It is evident when this time and effort has been taken, for example, knowing how a Master likes His paga, because you have asked and retained the information (even if it is in a notecard because your memory is notoriously bad), matters, details matter.

It is a kajira’s responsibility to be alert, ready and flexible, to gather information, to learn skills to please and entertain, to add to the community in which her Owner resides and spends time. It is not enough to have a beautiful avatar if, in turn, you don’t seek a variety of ways to offer service. This is how we are pleasing and how our beauty extends beyond the superficial, surface level of our pixels.

slave passion
[ S L A V E H E A T ]
✤ Lust ✤ Joy ✤ Surrender ✤

“I’m not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human.”
— C. JoyBell C.

i was very much a product of middle-class, British, protestant puritanism. Sex has been a source of angst and fear, need and want, confusion and confliction…and yet, it has been how i express love, feel connected enjoy and embrace my body, in all its imperfections and beauties. The journey of becoming kajira, and the self-awareness and exploration that has come with it, has thrown off the last vestiges of other’s expectations and allowed the primal, sexual beast to joyously spring free, without guilt, restraint or fear.

I have handed my lusts and desires over to my Master and it is pleasing to Him that these needs drive my actions and rock my hips. It is pleasing to Him that i serve with passion and bring heat to the simplest tasks. I do not need to fear others expectations and perceptions because i serve my Master.

In being released, i can now beg for the touches and attentions of a Master and as a kajira i accept their right to give or not, according to Their will. It has been a liberating realisation that *all* that i am, every aspect of who i am, creative, silly, primal, sexual, needy, inquisitive, intellectual can be used in some way to bring service and pleasure to the Free that i serve and the Owner who has claimed me.

tribe-silhouette meme
[ C O M M U N I T Y ]
✤ Gor ✤ Support ✤ Engagement ✤
“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
— Mitch Albom

One of the greatest joys in being kajira is that it is not in isolation. my Owner enjoys to spend time alone with me, as happy to beat me (for now) at Zar as He is making use of my slave-heat slickened body. However, the transition from ‘submissive’ to ‘kajira’ has happened in community. Being surrounded by the beauty of other’s service, the trustworthy honour of Gorean men, the joy of sisterhood that has come with finding people with the same heart that burns in me has been transformational, It has shaped how i understand what i have to offer, the context of my Master’s expectations and the acceptance and embracing of both.

Service then, is not only to the Free, in whom i have found friendship and support, but also to the kajira who walk ahead of me and those who will come after. As my depth of submission and love grow, so too does my desire to edify and support my slave sisters, to contribute to the community in which i have flourished to ensure others may too. My responsibility to myself, my wholeness and wellbeing, becomes doubly important, not ‘just’ as Master’s property, but as His property engaging in community with other people.

 

best self

[ F U L L Y A L I V E ]

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
— Eckhart Tolle

To be kajira is to spring forth from the restrictions of societal expectations and surrender to the whirling pull of another’s Mastery. It is to serve, effort-fully, with unrestrained fire and heart, allowing love and reverence to push out anything that might hold you back. It is to embrace all that you have to offer and refine it, appreciating and celebrating your gifts so that they might bring joy and pleasure to the Free. It is to pursue wholeness and health because you are now the steward of someone else’s property. It is about being attentive, alert and flexible to the needs and wants of your Owner and the Free they wish you to serve.

It is acceptance, acceptance that this is who you are and where you belong so that you can live your very best life in service of those who would claim it.
Fliss Fairport | March 2020

A Lobby Requirement For Slave Girls

The Gorean Compass is a class given every Thursday by Master Gorm Runo.  Classes are held at the Gorean Campus and are given at noon and 6pm SLT.  All are encouraged to come and join in the amazing discussions. This class was held on November 15, 2018


Tal and Greetings,

We are going to talk a bit more about slavery today, and suggest another “lobby” requirement for a slave girl. When we say lobby requirement, we are talking about those essential beliefs that qualify a person to claim they are Gorean and are separate from the thousands of variations and various interpretations that are possible.

I got my idea for this talk, oddly enough, from a day time television show that was on in the back ground while I was doing some cooking the other day. It was some sort of panel show, and a young woman was telling her story to the host. It appears that she was in a relationship with a controlling man. She finally got to the heart of the matter, and with a tear rolling down her cheek, and shame flushing her face for betraying her gender, she managed to blurt out this most horrible and damning of all statements.

“He makes me do things sometimes, that I don’t want to do.

The cameras moved to the audience that was reacting with shock and dismay. A man was making a woman doing something she didn’t want to do? The Horror! The audience was booing and shaking their fists at this outrage, and the host reached out, put a comforting hand on her shoulder, and shook his head sadly.

When I had stopped laughing, I went to the book shelf to find book 23, Renegades of Gor. I remembered a quote from that book that I had used before in a discussion about discipline, and was rather lucky to find it quickly. It is a rather long quote, but I will give it in its entirety today.

“Surely you fear the whip,” I said, “and the hazards of the collar?”
“The whip is good for us,” she said, “Perhaps it is hard for you to understand that, as you are not a woman. It makes our womanhood a hundred times more meaningful. The essential point here is not being whipped, of course, which hurts, but being subject to the whip and being truly subject to it. You see the distinction, I am sure. We know that men are by nature sovereign over us. That comprehension requires no great insight. Accordingly, men must the either fulfill their nature or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is a complement to theirs. Accordingly we despise men who surrender their natural sovereignty. Surely we would not be so stupid, would not be such weaklings and fools to do that, if we were men. It would be too valuable and glorious a thing to give up. Its surrender would be a tragedy. But, we are not men! We are women, and want,truly, with everything in our heart and bellies, to be woman, and we can not be women truly if men are not truly men! Accordingly, I would not want a man who could not whip me. I would not have the least respect for a man who was too weak to use it on me. Lay down your whip, and we will attack you, and undermine you, and use your own laws, institutions and rhetorics to destroy you, inch by inch. Lift it, and we will lick your feet in gratitude. Own us, dominate us! Enslave us , properly, so that we may love as women are meant to love, wholly and irreservedly, totally, without a thought for ourselves! She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Is it wrong to want to be ourselves?”
Renegades of Gor page 161

Being subject tp the whip? This whole topic touches on complex issues. When I was speaking out about the evils of a BTB approach to Gor, I pointed out that the ability to physically abuse a female, something very unpopular in current Western society, actually tended to make a Gorean Master in the Gorean novels, living on the fictional planet, much weaker than the Second Life Gorean Master living in a real world. This is because of the legal support in fictional Gorean society for the use of force, even deadly force, to enforce discipline.

We can’t do that here, and certainly not in an online M/s relationship such as we find in Second Life. I know that girls have told me many times that having their pixelated avatars whipped by an angry Master in role play on Second Life actually hurts because of their emotional reaction. They tell me that the emotional pain is worse than the physical. They said that “sticks and stones merely break your bones, but it is the words that really hurt you.”

I understand the power of emotion, but I was a soldier, too, and understand the power of violence also. When you take away the power of force, as the Goreans in the books had, and have to rely on something else, I think you have to be a better man, a stronger man, and a more honorable and decent man, to coax submission from a slave. Any asshole can pick up a whip and beat a girl into a fake expression of submission, but, it takes a much stronger man to use only his words, and his own example and behavior to draw an honest submission out of her. I have suggested that this is the essential message John Norman was giving us when I say “Bad Gor/Good Gor”, is the way to understand the novels and the philosophy.

We are not supposed to run out and find a whip and become bullies to become better men. That is obviously a warped message. So, what might be the symbolic meaning of the whip?

I think it goes back to the basic problem in the one on one male female relationship dynamic. It can not be a democracy, and it can not operate , despite what feminist writer’s might claim in Cosmopolitan Magazine, on the basis of compromise. Neither of those solve the basic problem of what to do when an impasse is reached. If compromise is the method, eventually, there will be an issue where it does not work. If they vote on everything, sooner or later, there will be a 1-1 tie vote.

So, the whip could be the symbolic tie breaker. And we need a tie breaker. That is the essential flaw of our current method. Since there is no tie breaker in the relationship, the only recourse to an impasse is a Divorce lawyer, or the termination of the relationship. Nature and evolution could not have produced this result. It is not how we were programmed to be. We had to develop a relationship dynamic that kept couples together long enough to raise the human child, that stayed a child longer than almost any other species. Besides that, I am sure cavemen would have quickly “killed all the lawyers.”
The tie breaker of natural order was male dominance and female submission. You could vote, as long as the man held a tie breaking vote, and you could compromise until you couldn’t, and then the Man decided. This was the natural order, and it got us out of the caves and into space. Is it a good idea to give it up now? If a human female is hard wired that way, the quote makes perfect sense.
The kicker here is that for this system to work properly, there had to be more to it. The man could not handle this responsibility for decision making if he did not have other things to guide him. Nor would he be a “true man” simply because he had a penis hanging between his legs. This is why the concepts of Honor and even love, and the obligation to protect the weak, and brotherhood, and family all became important parts of the “true man” definition.

If he was going to be responsible for the hard decisions, and if he was going to be the one wielding the whip, he needed the help of a Gorean compass of ideas to guide him away from the easy way, and the selfish way, and the evil way, and the cruel way, to find the right way.

So, what does this have to do with slave girl lobby requirements? I think it is absolutely essential that the slave girl accepts the idea of discipline. She has to understand that she will not always get her way, and that from time to time, she will have to do something that she does not want to do. If she expects the audience to hiss at her Masters and the host to pat her shoulder when she has to yield to the “whip”, she most likely is not going to find her time in Gor profitable, and she might not even be happy in any of the upper rooms either.
I think that if a girl does not react to a Man who is honorable, uncompromising, honest and open about his own nature, and also willing to discipline her when she has erred, she should be searching the many areas of Second Life where the other kinds of men are in abundance.

Sadly, a lot of those men find their way to Second Life. Pretending to be a Master is always an easy way to score, especially given the idea of “slave girls.’ Second Life Gor can be an emotional jungle for a poor, but serious, girl who is expecting to find something different, and only finds more of the same. They are conditioned by their society to believe as Jason Marshal tells the slave in Fighting Slave of Gor, that true men are men that defer to women. So, when they come to Second Life Gor and find men either pretending to be hard ass bullies or soft hearted, attentive, men overlooking their faults and mistakes and patting them on their “baby girl” heads, they are easily fooled into thinking either of those , too hard, too soft extremes is what they were seeking.
So, this whole “only when a man is truly a man, can a woman be truly a woman” thing is way more complex and difficult to achieve than it might appear.
If you are willing to follow the codes and adhere to the values that make you a true man, then you might be said to be “holding the whip.”
If you are a female, whose heart jumps when you see a sign of true manhood, regardless of from whom, and feel that you would gladly serve and obey him, then you might be said to be “yielding to the whip.”
And again, you would be welcome in my lobby anytime.

How did Collean find Gor?

I first arrived in Second life in 2008. I went to the usual watering holes. I stood around with everyone else looking for something. It all seemed rather boring to me. One day, a good friend said “Come to Gor with me” I had no clue what Gor was, but on his recommendation I donned a set of silks and off we went.

collean 1

First city we landed in was the old Port Kar. What a sight to behold! There were people everywhere. There were men with kilts and swords, women with long dresses and many dressed like me. It was like – coming home. It completed a part of me that I didn’t realize needed to be completed. A Master collared me and the adventures began.

I began to read the novels to round out what I was seeing here in this amazing world. My Master and I were together for nearly three years until he left for the City of Dust. Devastated, I left Second life, deleted my avatar and thought I would never be back.
There is an old saying “never say never” Gor has this pull that to a lucky few resides within. I missed Gor, so I started new in 2015 and came back again as a slave. I am naturally submissive and this fits me perfectly. It hasn’t been easy since I’ve returned. I’ve had several Masters. Two abandoned me, two turned me over to a slaver, one left Second life, and one was abusive. Through it all I never gave up.


During these various Owners I would visit Caer Cadarn and sometimes I would bring my current Master with me but frequently I came alone. Caer Cadarn always had this special feeling about it. From the first it felt like home. I had to leave Second Life due to health issues and was gone nearly a year. When I returned my home and Master were gone. The first place I went to was Caer Cadarn. I was welcomed and given a home. It is what I have searched for since I first landed in Gor. I am home. My advice to anyone that might read this and is unsure. Come to Gor, see what its about. Read the books by John Norman. Come to Caer Cadarn.