Gosh, it seems like ages ago and yet, like yesterday. The year was 2000. i was a 23 yr old mother of 4, living in a very negative relationship.
Background – i am the after school t.v. special. Cheerleader in high school, high gpa, involved in lots of extracurricular activities … parties with the bad boys, winds up pregnant, life over, the end.
i was starved for adult interaction. And, now there was this new phenomenon… the internet. Online chat rooms. First night in a chat room i was messaged privately. We called it whispering back then. A man asked if me if i was a submissive. A what? I had no clue about BDSM, D/s M/s Lifestyle .. none of it. i was directed to a website called Castle Realm. Told to read it and yes, ladies and gentlemen, i was hopelessly hooked from that day on.
A year goes by and i am learning more and more about the submissive side of myself and learning also about dominance, submission, mastery, slavery … and a whole slew of kinks, all within the safety of online text chat.
i had become a regular of a D/s chatroom that was very popular on msn. i “belonged” to a dominant .. my Sir .. *giggles thinking back* One night, very much like any other, the Owner of the room announces that he has invited a couple slaves over to dance and serve. He called them, kajira. A completely foreign name to me. Half of the room was excited and the other half upset that he had dared to invite GOREANS into their midst.
There were two of them and as soon as they entered it was as if a magic glitter softened the room. They shined. Oh how they sparkled! Every movement made was made with the exquisite grace of kajira, and the joy they expressed to be collared creatures… to be slaves to men was so sweetly obvious, that i made your heart ache to watch them serve.
They danced and served and it was all over for me that night. i wanted .. THAT. i wanted that total power exchange and that joy in serving and that grace to please men .. i wanted to be kajira.
Needless to say the rest is history. In msn chat i found Gorean chat rooms and i would sneak into and observe. The dominants i had grown close to in the BDSM, D/s community all warned me away from Gor. Goreans didn’t care about their slaves, … you were just an animal to them .. property and nothing more! That isn’t what i saw at all and once i finally said goodbye to the silly games of D/s, BDSM … i truly began to become .. kajira.